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Lately iv been debating on quitting school. Probably not the best answer but everyone I cant sit and think, I cant sit and read, I dont know how to tell them because as bad as this may sound, i have to live off what they give me every 6 months. Iv went from studying everyday for hours to not even being able to sit down and do anything, this damn SSI s*** has me so stressed out its not even funny. Now if i leave the school im F*****, literally. I cant be in the home that i am, I cant stand sitting out in the freezing cold anymore, jesus i know i have bad karma but please god let it clear for a min or days. Iv been pushed lately to almost do things that i dont want to do, but do they care? Sometimes I doubt it. I still once again thank everyone here who gave me links, iv sent so many forms and documents out its not even funny, Yet i cant even get food stamps, or JUST INSURANCE. Really thats one thing i really really need is insurance so i can talk to my counselors and see what i can do, see what my mind will allow me to do. Music has been the only thing that has kept my head up high, but being a musician with ad hd isnt always fun, i doubt myself more then you can imagine. Yet people around me will tell me how amazing it sounds and bla bla bla, i dont know what to do anymore everyone. Please some advice would be very helpful!

Father, this isnt me, i dont want to struggle anymore, please I beg of you before I fall like I have before, please hold me close. This devil is taking over me, its killing me, its killing my ability to love, its killing the ability to see straight. I cry father, I degrade myself, I will sell everything I have to get the help I need, just point me in the right way, please!

To whom it may concern:

As I continue my battle with SSI, I frighten myself. I always doubt because of my age, people mock that quite a bit. Then my english and attempting to go to school. All this battling has destoryed me physically, mentally, and emtionally. How much longer will this last till i finally can get some insurance, or finally be able to take my medicine and work on a better life? Thats all I trully want, a better, brighter future for myself and my family. Yet my disabilites constantly get in the way. IED (intermitten explosive disorder) it is one of the scarest things you could ever imagine. Its like the incredible hulk raging through your whole body, and yet inside you really just want to be calm and civil. Your none stop battle with yourself and the green monster make it hard to even keep a beautiful, lasting relationship with a significant other.  Ladies and gentleman, please if you are reading this, all i seek is information on how to win my case and to gain medical insurance for something that has been with me haunting me since 5 years old. I thank each and everyone one of you, and I encourage you, if your truly dont belive that someone like myself can be fully disabled. Please read my blogs and posts, then judge.